December 13, 2009

Reason enough to go back through the past year's journal:

As part of an annual ritual that I participate in, Death Arrow, I am required to go through my journals of the past year. The purpose of the review is to find one or two items that I feel I have overcome in the past year. The Death Arrow ritual is a way to give death to something that I find I no longer need in my life. I find it amazing what turns up in reviewing the journal.

Looking back on the emotional roller coaster ride of the past several months, I see that I have a lot of work to do to rid myself of anger, of trying to control situations that are not mine to control, of learning to live with those (situations and people) I cannot control, etc. etc. etc. This information willl assist me in another ritual coming in January; the Act of Power.

Every once in a while during the review a gemstone turns up in the midst of all the crap. I rarely remember what I write in the journal for long after I wrote it. Yet sometimes, something I wrote jumps up and grabs me. This one caused me to pause and ask: "Did I really write that?" Thus the reason for this particular blog entry. I wanted to share this small gem with any who may wander here and read.

From a journal entry dated 8-03-09:

I am sitting in a chair waiting, joyous, watching the end of my human life racing towards me; a wall of flame and destruction. I felt no fear, more an anxiety mixed with excitement. In mere moments, all questions will be answered.

Time is frozen between the ticks of a clock, an instant before the wall of fire hits me. I am standing now, looking at the old chair where I was sitting. The chair shows signs of years and years of abuse. I wonder if it too realizes this is the end.

My life does not flash before my eyes as the writers of old have stated. There is only the thrill of the knowledge this is an ending, but also a beginning.

Maybe it isn't all that profound but, it sure set me to thinking for a while. Maybe more from the journal review will come latter.

Light Seer

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