Feelings of SuperiorityMonday, August 17, 2009 This weekend a friend who smoked asked me what I thought about people who smoke. And I answered bluntly and honestly. Ever since then, the incident has been resurfacing in my mind again and again. I could not understand why it continued to haunt me until this morning when I was doing my pathwork reading. My statement, presented as my “opinion” was deeply mired in very negative judgments. From what I was able to put together, my judgments ran something like this:
I quit therefore others should be able to do so. When I look at this closer, I first see the word ‘should.’ This little word is a red flag. It means I am trying to push my opinions and expectations on someone else saying in essence that they need to be like me. And the final statements are the kicker. They are clear statements of judgment. It very strongly suggests that anyone who smokes is beneath me; therefore I gain a feeling of superiority from the belief. And I decide someone else doesn’t care about themselves or others? Ugh!!! This is a totally unacceptable attitude for one who is on a spiritual path. What was right for me is not necessarily right for anyone else. The fact that I managed to quit and make it stick is not a statement of intelligence, of superiority, or of anything other than at that time in my life I was able to muster up enough personal motivation to make it through all the pitfalls of quitting and to make it stick. It does not mean that I could repeat the process today, nor should it imply that it was an easy process or that anyone can do it. Even after twenty years I still remember the numerous failed attempts that went before I finally succeeded, and the frustrations at not being able to resist the addiction, not to mention the continued self hate that accompanied each failed attempt. It is okay to have a small measure of pride in my accomplishment. It is not okay to continually rub smokers face in it. This is dishonoring their free will and their personal path with which I have no right to interfere. I can be a light and offer information about what worked for me, but the rest is and must be up to them. It is okay for me to choose not to remain near someone when they are smoking, this is self preservation, it is not a comment on their addiction or their path. I do feel a need to acknowledge that I personally know people who are much more intelligent than I am who do smoke rendering the judgment I held as invalid. Based on the above I owe my friend and countless others an apology, I hope that I may be forgiven for my ignorance, and my arrogance. Light Seer I invite your comments and will publish them here. |